How to NOT pick up women
By Katarzyna Sprengel
We have all heard these harrowing stories. Bad opening lines or overt pushiness resulting in slaps in the face or your fanciest T-shirt getting soaking wet from a no less fancy espresso martini. Sounds familiar? Well, you have some things to work on then.
We at B.O.B interviewed a series of women to obtain the most objective information on how they like being approached by me, we the went about selecting some valuable tips:
1) Don’t give up and make excuses. When you fail and the love game doesn’t evolve in the way you imagined it, do not fret! Man often make excuses like she was too shy, bitchy, unresponsive etc but most of the time the problem lays in their lack of seduction skills.
2) Don’t get too drunk when you start a conversation with a woman. Another excuse men tend to make is “I didn’t drink enough”. That’s a mistake. Don’t procrastinate because it won’t do any magic. More action and talking, less pondering.
It’s okay to have a drink or two, but if you make a first impression inexcusably hammered, women will most likely see you as a self-destructive failure. And a loser who can’t behave nor control himself.
Instead, act as soon as possible.
3) Sleaziness is a no-no. Getting sexual is okay – as long as it is in good taste. Good taste is, of course, masively subjective, but your task is to spy out the land. It is acceptable to mention something as a joke, but when a grimace of repulsion or disapproval appears on your target’s face, don’t apologise and say “only kidding”. It makes you look, well, like a pussy. Keep in mind that allowing her to adapt is one of the first steps to success. In this way, you scrutinise the woman and explore how sexual she is or is willing to be with you.
“Do small talk about weather or surroundings, politely introduce thyself and make small talk rather than jumping like a hungry animal at first sight. Things will naturally evolve later on.” says T., a waitress in a popular bar in the CBD.
4) Yes, confidence is needed, but too much is never good. Don’t be haughty and appear haughty by showing overdominance. Politeness will never despoil you from you masculinity, but sending vibrations of superiority definitely will.
5) Intrigue her with your uniqueness or quirkiness. Women hate dullness. They want to experience a variety of emotions. Sometimes, the thoughts you hide and words you want to say, but are too afraid to utter because you don’t want to sound like a loser, are exactly the things that should be said to grab her attention. Be your awesome self and it will pay off. Imitating anything contradicts feeling comfortable with yourself.
“I always like quirky remarks like a smooth or funny pick up line, but when he knows it’s a quirky pick up line. It’s cool when they’re funny or crack a starting joke, aha! Confidence but no cockiness” says L., a university student.
6) Be aware of her friends and interact with them. Focusing your whole attention on the girl is not the optimal thing to do. Conversing with her crowd makes you look like a social all-rounder.
“I always appreciate when a guy makes an effort to talk to my friends. It shows he has class and is able to communicate on different levels at the same time. Concentrating too much in me makes me feel overwhelmed” disclosed A., a flight attendant.
7) Avoid vagueness. Be consistent in what you say or act. After all, an alpha male doesn’t change his mind every three seconds. Believe in your beliefs. Deliberate understatements and deliberate confusion are two different things. Your game needs to be solid.
8) Learn how to master simple, yet very effective psychological tricks. For example, when you say words that indicate or chafe at something sexual/sensual or just positive (e.g. amazing, delicious, pleasure, spicy), subtly point at yourself. By doing that, the girl will subconsciously attribute them to you!
9) Lastly, please, by no means ignore body language!
Observe the body language of your target and control your own. Adjust, yet continue checking your chances by occasionally minimising the distance between you two. Learn how to use the wisdom of the golden means.